shit

I found out that vince got a job...sweet. i thought. i just found out he works from about 2pm-12am or 4pm-2am. well normally those are the hours we're together. but i thought ok we still have weekends.....nope! work every day. so even if i go to c him...it'll b midnight or 2am before i c him...then to bed about 2-4 hours later...and that will b ALL the time we'll have together. cuz in the morning he'll wake up n go to work.so...whoo hoo...i get 2 c him a few hours a week! i'm trying to joke about it n blow it off like its all ok. but honestly...its fuckin tearing me apart on the inside. its killing me. we went from seeing each other from thursday till either mon.or tues.(5 days) down to a few hours. i mean...yea its better than nothing....but its so little time its might as well b nothing. i even asked if he was gunna leave me....i mean u don't even c the person ur dating eventually it seems pointless...u never c each other...y put each other thru that? i don't know. i know i'm not gunna leave, but i can only pray he won't. n now he can't even go to band practice...which is (i think) a big deal to him, the band. i thoguht y don't he just work there till he can fix his truck n get a job somewhere else that will pay better, with better hours. but i felt bitchy n selfish suggesting that. o well shit could always b worse i guess. but its hard...VERY very hard... right now. i need to go have a smoke n call jessica...i need someone to tlak to right now...